Praying for a Spouse: Daphne’s Story

In 1989 I felt like my world would fall apart after the death of my first husband in January of that year. I had tended to rely on him a lot and he had always helped me with decision-making and taking charge of things. Now all of a sudden I was on my own and responsible for whatever took place.

It was very hard for me to come to grips with things, but it didn’t take long for me to decide that I wanted another husband. I really believed that the Lord could give me one.

I felt I could ask Him for one, because I knew He cared about me and wanted the best for me. However, at that time I didn’t know what I do now about exercising my faith. The only thing I knew I must do is to be specific.

So armed with that simple knowledge and doing what I had done before I met my first husband Mike, I made up a list of the desires that I wanted in my new husband.

When I was married to my first husband I had experienced quite a few situations where I shared with people on a more personal level. 

I decided I wanted to carry on with this in my second marriage because I enjoyed it. I decided marrying a pastor might be quite a nice idea, because I’d always wanted to get involved in full-time ministry.

A Turning Point

A short while after all this, I visited my ex in-laws in Durban, South Africa. While I was there the Lord boosted my faith tremendously and encouraged me to continue trusting Him.

After a prayer meeting one afternoon, the pastor’s wife of the church I was visiting gave a prophetic word. I knew without a shadow of doubt that she was referring to me, because every fear, every doubt, and every concern that I had about being on my own was addressed in that word.

The Lord gave me guidance and direction through it, and then at the end she said,

“Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart.”

I knew exactly what she was referring to here – my husband.

That word gave me a tremendous boost of encouragement and I knew I just needed to trust the Lord. When I returned to Johannesburg where I lived, I was asked to leave my job because it became too pressurized and I was battling to cope with it.

I was devastated at the time, but the Lord worked it for good. He led me to work for a wonderful Christian guy who I already knew from Christian meetings we had once a week during our lunch break.

During this time I joined various Christian singles groups and wondered if the Lord would lead me to meet my husband at one of these groups. 

I also attended various Christian camps where I came into contact with a lot of other young people, but nothing seemed to materialize. I got a bit despondent at times, but still kept up my trust in the Lord.

Introduction to the Club

Then after about 4 months of working for my current boss, he showed me a magazine one day. It contained an article about a Christian couple who ran an introductory club. 

He suggested I join them and I must admit the idea set off a spark in me. However I only got round to doing something about it a month or so later.

The club ran on this basis. You filled in a form of basic details, what you wanted from your partner, and what your basic desire was in a partner. I put there, ‘I want to marry a pastor and go into ministry’.

I thought afterwards that maybe it was a little weird and restrictive to put that in. However I later discovered it was exactly what I needed to put.

I was a member of the Club for 2 months and nothing really came up. I met one person and a few people phoned me. But I didn’t feel totally comfortable with them and they were not exactly what I desired in a partner. 

In the meantime I just kept busy. I got fully involved in my work to try and keep as positive as I could.

Then one day I received a phone call from a guy who seemed to know quite a lot about me, like the fact that I was widowed, how old I was, etc. 

He asked if he could ask me a few questions for a survey that he was doing for a Singles Association or something. I accepted, but he turned out to be rather disgusting and it turned into an obscene phone call.

I immediately thought maybe someone who was not a Christian had somehow got hold of my information, and thought it might be wise to cancel my membership and forget about it. 

Satan was just trying his last ditch attempt to prevent Les and I from meeting. Because you see at the time I got the phone call, Les was himself at the Club and had been given my name as a prospect.

The very thing I had put at the end about marrying a pastor and going into ministry with him was what immediately attracted him to me. Even though I wanted to cancel my membership, the Lord prevented me from getting through to them by the allocated time that night.

I was outside in a flat on my property when I thought I heard the phone ring but wasn’t too sure. I decided to move it further down the house in case someone did call.

As I walked inside to move it, it rang again and I ran to answer it. It was Les on the other end. 

I immediately felt a flood of excitement that practically overwhelmed me and I felt totally comfortable with him. Even though we were total strangers to each other we talked for quite a while.

We met the following evening and went to a musical presentation at my boss’s church. It was wonderful. When we returned to my house later on we had a prayer time because Les wanted to confirm that I was the right person.

I didn’t need any confirmation. I felt totally at peace. But the Lord gave him a prophetic word that I was in the right place at the right time. 

He also showed Les that He would give me the ability to be a mother to his 3 daughters, because he had custody of them and I didn’t have any children at all. They were 10, 12 and 14 at the time.

We were married 3 months later, and the Lord threw me in the deep end to learn all about being in ministry. It was exciting and traumatic at times. It was also not without stress, as He revealed and discarded things in me that would stand in the way of me being effective for Him.

But one thing I can say, He definitely gave me the very best! As of now we have been married for 30 years, and I have never felt more fulfilled in my life. It was worth the wait to meet him.